So...

A merchant calls me to ask why his merchant account was restrained. I explained it was due to a breach and that we have this right under the UCC.

He says "How did you know who I process with". I explained that he likely provided this information through bank statements during the application process.

"But I altered them!" he says. "I changed a ton of information and there is no way you would be able to see that!! This is fraud!!!!"

"So let me get this straight?" I ask. "You're accusing us of fraud by restraining your correct merchant account even though you fraudulently altered bank statements in order to obtain tens of thousands of dollars by blatant misrepresentation and literal false pretense, not to mention the legal issues surrounding sending altered bank statements for the purposes of underwriting?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed proudly

I am blessed every day because I get to see how people function when only a small percentage of their synapses fire. Solving Pi would truly be simpler than trying to discern how the mind of a complete buffoon manages to sustain a business. He threatened to involve his lawyer and I am praying he does, if only to hear what magical argument his legal scholar would make.

How can we not love this industry? It's a roller-coaster ride every day.