[JasonP]

The reason you are being mocked and derided is because your premise is completely devoid of even the most basic UW concepts of this industry. You are trying to get a merchant 4X monthly deposits (35% of revenues) with a very short TIB and no reliable track record upon which to forecast future cash flows and thus repayment. As many have said before, their best bet is an SBA loan from a bank. As you mentioned in your initial post, we are all very busy, but for you to come on here and ask us to solve your problem when the end state you are trying to achieve is a fantasy is you wasting our time. If you want to waste our time chasing rainbows, expect us to waste our time mocking you rather than being helpful. Many of us here are sick of the spam, the noobz that don't know **** about this industry, and those that lack the ability to use the forum's search function. 95% of the threads here fall into one of those categories, this one included.

Turnabout is fair play.

What part of this did you not understand "PLEASE NO WISE CRACKS OR SMART ANSWERS IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SOLUTION PLEASE DON'T COMMENT. I AM SURE YOUR TIME IS PRECIOUS."
You are just another dude with too much free time.

[CreditGuy]

What part of this did you not understand "PLEASE NO WISE CRACKS OR SMART ANSWERS IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SOLUTION PLEASE DON'T COMMENT. I AM SURE YOUR TIME IS PRECIOUS."
You are just another dude with too much free time.

The part where you don't get to tell me what to do.

[bsmith]

What part of this did you not understand "PLEASE NO WISE CRACKS OR SMART ANSWERS IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SOLUTION PLEASE DON'T COMMENT. I AM SURE YOUR TIME IS PRECIOUS."
You are just another dude with too much free time.

You have been given, and rejected, very real and valuable information on the environment here at the DF. If you don't bother to learn about your surroundings, your future will be bleak. Don't take my word for it, you should already be seeing it now. The solution you should be seeking is how to improve yourself, just as we work to improve ourselves. Seek to learn, improve upon yourself, and the answers will come to you.