best and worst sales pitches

**Paperchaser** · 03-12-2015, 12:16 PM

wut are they

**Chambo** · 03-12-2015, 12:30 PM

seriously?

**MatthewAStucchio** · 03-12-2015, 12:43 PM

I need your date of birth and your soash...

**Paperchaser** · 03-12-2015, 12:45 PM

yea its like most people selling this barely have a hs diploma

**Miller192** · 03-12-2015, 03:39 PM

I don't have a bad sales pitch but he had a pretty funny experience that just happened here with a new processor.

We had a merchant come into the office to sign docs and had our new processor walk through the process with him. The funds are being used to purchase a new food truck for his distribution business and pay off his current truck. I asked the processor to get me his license and apparently there was confusion.

One of rep looked out side and she was in the parking lot with the merchant trying to get the license plates off his truck.

**Sean Cash** · 03-12-2015, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by Miller192

I don't have a bad sales pitch but he had a pretty funny experience that just happened here with a new processor.

We had a merchant come into the office to sign docs and had our new processor walk through the process with him. The funds are being used to purchase a new food truck for his distribution business and pay off his current truck. I asked the processor to get me his license and apparently there was confusion.

One of rep looked out side and she was in the parking lot with the merchant trying to get the license plates off his truck.

Classic. When I was at MCC, an underwriter asked a merchant for copies of their most recent rent checks, but since the merchant paid in cash they photocopied the money and sent that over. It was a photocopy of both cash and change (quarters, dimes, nickels, pennies).

**J.Celifarco** · 03-12-2015, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by sean bash

Classic. When I was at MCC, an underwriter asked a merchant for copies of their most recent rent checks, but since the merchant paid in cash they photocopied the money and sent that over. It was a photocopy of both cash and change (quarters, dimes, nickels, pennies).

Always was a fan of the "AVOID CHECK" see that few times

**GRP Funding** · 03-12-2015, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by sean bash

Classic. When I was at MCC, an underwriter asked a merchant for copies of their most recent rent checks, but since the merchant paid in cash they photocopied the money and sent that over. It was a photocopy of both cash and change (quarters, dimes, nickels, pennies).

I don't remember if it was you or Paul G working the deal for us, but we had a lady doing a merchant interview for a renewal on her way to the hospital to give birth. Had to be 2005 or 2006. Crazy times.

**Sean Cash** · 03-12-2015, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by GRP Funding

I don't remember if it was you or Paul G working the deal for us, but we had a lady doing a merchant interview for a renewal on her way to the hospital to give birth. Had to be 2005 or 2006. Crazy times.

hahaha. That sounds like a Paul G story.

**MCA UW** · 03-12-2015, 04:46 PM

I remember once having a merchant list their "mobile" on the app as a Honda Accord. Too many good ones over the years, but I'll never forget that one.

**GRP Funding** · 03-12-2015, 05:06 PM

Driver's licenses getting stuck in fax machines is always good too

**J.Celifarco** · 03-12-2015, 06:56 PM

and we wonder why some people need loans

**WALLFUND** · 03-13-2015, 10:27 AM

Another off topic story , a merchant called me yesterday and his first words to me where im on Namaa for not paying another cash advance company , can you still fund me ???

**Finance1** · 03-13-2015, 10:33 AM

I've had multiple clients fill out the years in business section of our app like this: "9am-5pm M-F"

**cardinalequity** · 03-13-2015, 10:36 AM

ha ha ha

Originally Posted by Finance1

I've had multiple clients fill out the years in business section of our app like this: "9am-5pm M-F"

**J.Celifarco** · 03-13-2015, 10:38 AM

Originally Posted by WALLFUND

Another off topic story , a merchant called me yesterday and his first words to me where im on Namaa for not paying another cash advance company , can you still fund me ???

nothing good can ever come form a conversation where the merchant says NAMAA

**Fly** · 03-14-2015, 03:00 AM

I haven't been doing this that long, a couple years. Best one I have...It was either New Logic or QuickBridge(can't remember) didn't believe the guy signing for the loan was the same guy on the drivers license. Signature discrepancy. It was a hick form West Virginia. So the guy took a photo with a cig in his mouth, beer in one hand, and piece of paper in the other hand with his signature and words saying "I am _____ ______". The deal funded an hour later.

**mscalise** · 03-14-2015, 06:36 PM

And Anthony G had that posted proudly. That was my deal.

**Sean Cash** · 03-14-2015, 06:44 PM

Oh man we had some good times with you and your team back then.

**WhoisKingsley** · 03-14-2015, 08:23 PM

Hahaha! Off topic funny deal story- a computer company didn't understand how he did 80-100k sales and no one wanted to give him an advance.

He had 100s of 39.95 charges every month. He was a webcam girl/porn addict and had multiple rendezvous at the local Marriott. There's a lot of crazy people out there!

**WALLFUND** · 03-16-2015, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by whoiskingsley

hahaha! Off topic funny deal story- a computer company didn't understand how he did 80-100k sales and no one wanted to give him an advance.

He had 100s of 39.95 charges every month. He was a webcam girl/porn addict and had multiple rendezvous at the local marriott. There's a lot of crazy people out there!

"whoiskingsley " you think the deal is still around or are you talking about a long time ago ?

**WhoisKingsley** · 03-16-2015, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by WALLFUND

"whoiskingsley " you think the deal is still around or are you talking about a long time ago ?

LOL - Probably. I have a statement in my training folder. I use it for admin to play a game called "Do you see it?" Kind of a game of catching fraud, transfers, and just funny stuff to ask before sending out a file

I'll email the name.

**TheChoice** · 03-16-2015, 01:09 PM

Yeah who is that Kings? Send me an email?

**Jon** · 03-16-2015, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by GRP Funding

Driver's licenses getting stuck in fax machines is always good too

What's a fax machine?

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