[Gene148]

Hey everyone. Name is Eugene and I am from Equita Advance. We are looking to sign up qualified ISO's to join our team. We specialize in 2 and on positions. our sweep spot is 3rd and 4th position. We pay high commissions. IM me or email me for info. I will provide personal fast service for each file and ISO.

email : Eugene@equitaadvance.com

[SendDocsPlox]

Hello human beings, I am faceless formless individual from popup funding operation of unknown location and origin but likely operating out of brooklyn, queens, or the five towns, we fund hops like every other C and D paper funding operation and will provide no specifics to differentiate us from the myriad of other funding operations of unknown location and origin, but also likely operating out of brookyln, queens, or the five towns. We will pay you an unspecified amount of points that we assure you are of a sizeable quantity. I am an ISO Manager.

*kicks feet back and just waits for the flood of applicants rushing to DMs*

[happyman]

Hello human beings, I am faceless formless individual lurking on a cash advance forum waiting to jump on any post that I feel I can get a good troll in. From my join date you can tell Ive been in this business for less than a year. But dont let that fool you, I know everything there is to know about cash advance. Im likely a 22 year old guy who joined an MCA Broker shop, couldnt compete with the top guys in my office, now pass the time trolling on forums and watching tiktoks. I am a Funding Specialist.

*Kicks feet back and just refreshing my page to see if I get any replies or likes*

[SendDocsPlox]

Hello human beings, I am faceless formless individual lurking on a cash advance forum waiting to jump on any post that I feel I can get a good troll in. From my join date you can tell Ive been in this business for less than a year. But dont let that fool you, I know everything there is to know about cash advance. Im likely a 22 year old guy who joined an MCA Broker shop, couldnt compete with the top guys in my office, now pass the time trolling on forums and watching tiktoks. I am a Funding Specialist.

*Kicks feet back and just refreshing my page to see if I get any replies or likes*

You have me figured out! I am defeated!

[TheUnderwriter]

I have been in the space since 2008 back when it was only credit card splits and if you wanted a deal you had to switch the merchant's processor if they weren't with someone simple like Integrity. Good ol' days, 6 month, 1.39 on a split, good times. But you wouldnt know that by looking at 'joined date' so that is not always true about how long someone been in the space Happyman

[Gene148]

agreed you can't really tell who is new or not. Best way is to submit files and see the service given.

[CucumberCapital]

Eli Gold Here with Cucumber Capital Looking to sign up new qualified ISO's we're fast & aggressive on the offers we fund 2nd position and up, but our sweet spot is 3rd & 4th. Call or email me to get the ball rolling here.

Cucumber Capital
| Submissions Department

| Eli Gold : 718-930-2943
|Email: eli@cucumberfunding.com
| website: www.cucumberfunding.com

[abfunders]

No offense Eli, but are we really scraping the bottom of the barrel with new names of funding companies?

[OGFUNDER]

lol i was wondering if cucumber was a real name lol

[Kevin Henry-Seacoast]

Winds up being a stack of pickles....

[TheUnderwriter]

I just started my own funding company today, Tomatoes Funding. We believe in funding ripe deals. I say Tomatoes, you say T0m0t0es.

We do 4-20th positions, fast funding. no underwriting. Sweet spot, I would say is 8.5th position. Give us a chance.

[SmartAdvanced]

Why is Kabbage better than Cucumber?


Because it just is.


…And please change your name.

[SmartAdvanced]

Just change the damn name and start again. It’s not too late.
For real, take my advice on this, change your name.

[SmartAdvanced]

You can’t even decide if it’s Cucumber Capital or Cucumber Funding.
See?… it won’t get easier from here. I say: Change the name.

[SendDocsPlox]

I'm here with Arugula Advance, we're here to add a little sophistication and zing to your file and at a relatively low cost compared to our competitors in the space. We compete on any file versus another funder with a fruit or vegetable in their name, on any rates and terms

Give us a bite! Call now (248)434-5508

No seriously please, we need ISOs I'm in my moms basement in queens and need the security deposit for a real location

[abfunders]

The only worse vegetable to pick would be an eggplant. And yes, they actually registered an LLC by the name of Cucumber Capital LLC in NY in 2021. (slap face)

[abfunders]

No offense Eli, but are we really scraping the bottom of the barrel with new names of funding companies?

I wrote this too quickly. I should have said "scraping around the bottom of the pickle jar."

[ihniwtw]

Hey everyone. Name is Eugene and I am from Equita Advance. We are looking to sign up qualified ISO's to join our team. We specialize in 2 and on positions. our sweep spot is 3rd and 4th position. We pay high commissions. IM me or email me for info. I will provide personal fast service for each file and ISO.

email : Eugene@equitaadvance.com

Promotions?

[DTFdowntofund]

This thread turned into tossing salad. Fantastic.

[SBF]

I just started my own funding company today, Tomatoes Funding. We believe in funding ripe deals. I say Tomatoes, you say T0m0t0es.

We do 4-20th positions, fast funding. no underwriting. Sweet spot, I would say is 8.5th position. Give us a chance.

LOLOLOLOL's

[SBF]

These posts are so rad-ish

[ihniwtw]

These posts are so rad-ish

Next comes rad-ish funding llc

[SmartAdvanced]

I wrote this too quickly. I should have said "scraping around the bottom of the pickle jar."

I’m opening a new LLC called “Pickle Dip Advance LLC”

[TheUnderwriter]

Melons Funding

Slogan - "We have bigger Melons than any other funder" We like them big. Send us your big deals.

[lendingking]

LK here from Chilli Funding. We can compete with any vegetable or fruit funding any day. Our terms and rates are very spicy and we go up to 20th position. Get in touch today and we will make sure your merchant gets the salad erm i mean funding they deserve!