[VeganFunder]

Happy beginning of the month everyone!!

The ISO community seems to have a monopoly on complaints about funders. It's about time we have some complaining from the Funder's side of things.
It’s almost getting to the point that this forum should be called "Daily ISO" (whomp) -- the only time direct funders tend to post anything is either to defend or promote themselves (Here's looking at you Marcus!)

Do I love the majority of our ISO’s? Sure...most of the time...But there is this subset group in the ISO community that seem to be missing a few key points.

Why am I posting this now instead of funding? Because my brain is fried, July was exhausting and I need a 10 minute break.

Let the pet peeve rant begin

1. Arguing against a legitimate ill

I get it, you've been counting your commission from the time the merchant asked for a contract. But the most we looked at in order to give this guy a contract (Less than 50k) is a quick internet search, credit and a few bank statements.

• The fact that he's a child molester didn't show up until after we pulled background.
  
• The default from 8 months ago didn't show up on his credit or the courts for some reason
  
• He just took funding Yesterday

"But he's a payer!!"
The fact that he's been paying [Fill in the blank] Funding for 2 weeks doesn't make him a payer!


"Why didn't we pull background before sending out the contract??" You ask as you start to swear you'll never do business with us again

A full background report is $20 (10 for personal, 10 for business)-- the number of times I get a signed contract back and the merchant just got funded 2 days ago (thanks for checking by the way!) We send out 20-50 contracts per day! That's about $12,000 per month in unnecessary costs.

Yes, if 80-90% of the contracts you request come back signed maybe we'd do it ahead of time for you.
Hell, even if you only send back 5% of the contracts you request BUT your portfolio's performance with us is through the roof because you have that gift of clairvoyance when it comes to merchant's we may even change our minds!! BUT, chances are, if you're that good you already know that and kind of have us by the balls anyway.


2. Why is your refi offer so low, HE CAN HANDLE IT!

First of all, thank you for stacking us. Of course, the merchant asked you for more money and it was a full month later so I guess it could be worse.

We get it, gotta keep your merchant's happy.

But just because he's been handling our (and everyone else’s) daily/weekly payment flawlessly doesn't mean we should double it! No bounced payments generally means we priced it correctly! The goal isn't to push the daily to the point where a merchant is struggling to handle the advance. Yes, he asked for more money, which also happens to equal more commission, did you explain to him the cost and extra burden?

Did you explain that when it comes to borrowing money less is more?
Maybe have him wait 2 more weeks so he nets more on the Refi?
For some reason when I explain this to a merchant they seem to get it, almost every time.
The goal is to keep your clients for YEAR's, not MONTHS


You're clients aren't stupid (if you think they are that might be the problem right there). We're all susceptible to sale tactics and merchant's are no different -- I've seen your Gucci and Ferregamo shoes that you justified because some Youtube personality or salesman told you they were "Worth it due to their superior quality."
Sometimes we just believe what we want to in order to get what we think we want
(FYI-- they're 40% over-market in terms of quality. They're not garbage, but they're not a gold standard either)

3. We made a mistake, sorry. We'll make it up to you
We're not funding $50Mil a month
Some of us smaller funding shops are funding $5M, others $12M some names we all love are in the $2M per month range. Our money is expensive, we feel a default and our teams are not staffed with robots.


We make mistakes
We're human

sorry, we missed that the merchant lowered payments on Last Chance the LAST day of the month of the most recent statement
Sorry we missed a recent funding in the Month-to-Date you sent us (which was 35 individual screen shots from the merchant's mobile app)

We f'd up, but we're not going to risk 50k,30k or even 10 thousand dollars of our money just because we made 1 mistake out of the 100 offers we sent out to you this month.

We respect the effort you put into closing deals, ask us for 1-2 points on the next deal to make it up

4. Hey did you see my email
Yes

And your text, and the 10 phone calls and then the text about the phone call about the email.
Maybe wait 10 minutes? Maybe we’re on the phone with the someone else?? It might even be your merchant who’s contract you’re calling us about.
Jeez

4. Merchant needs 100k to close
He does $15k per month. Stop it

Nothing you have to say about this file means anything anymore.

Now, it’s one thing if you are asking for an amount that is slightly above what we would offer.
“Merchant needs $75K” and does $100k per month.

Ok, now I get why you wrote something—might be above what we would have given this file, but I’ll give it a second glance.
But when you write a request that demonstrates either utter incompetence for pricing or immeasurable laziness, our offer is basically take it or leave it.

And One of the Worst ones

6. I’m not like the other scummy ISO’s you might work with
First of all, why would you even say this in your first week working with us?

The lady doth protest too much

We try very hard to not deal with “scummy” ISO’s—maybe uneducated, but rarely scummy.
What Funder would willingly work with a crooked broker?
Yes, there are some shrewd and pushy salesman – most salesman are (it’s not the most effective way, but whatever).

If you said to me “I care about my merchant’s and I care about your money” and demonstrated that... MAYBE I’d believe it wasn’t you who told the merchant they would get a term loan in two weeks.


Ok I’m done. Back to work

[harvey]

Preach baby preach!

[J.Celifarco]

OK I guess I can be happy that I am just gulity of -- DID YOU SEE MY EMAIL
Sorry patience is not a strong suit especially when it feels like now we are competing on almost every file..

Some of those arguments are just bat sht crazy

[WestCoastFunding]

Great post, except for this part: “Do I love the majority of our ISO’s? Sure”.

That’s a lie. You know damn well 75% are a pain in the ass.

[harvey]

iso's like to think they are owed something at all times

[VeganFunder]

Great post, except for this part: “Do I love the majority of our ISO’s? Sure”.

That’s a lie. You know damn well 75% are a pain in the ass.

Lol, but to be fair I think both sides have PITA tendencies.

[happyman]

Every ISO reading this is like "But you need us. Without us you wouldnt be in business"

This is coming from a UW with a bunch of annoying ISO's

[abfunders]

Us brokers like to think that merchants have nothing better to do all day other than fill out forms and collect stips. Some merchants have real jobs The challenge is that once we GET the stips, we are so excited that the lenders/funders are just as excited as we are!

A way to help is to just give a quick, "Submission Received" from a real person.

But yes, I get this all the time with co-brokers asking me for an update on a real estate file on a daily basis. When I told them two days ago that the bank will have an update only on Friday, and it's Thursday.

[JTS-MCA]

This was by far the best thing I have ever read on this forum. Being in this space and learning about it since 2009, this by far sums up a lot of what I have seen as part of a funding company and dealing with some ISOs.

You can take credit for being my first post since I never want to write on here. Goodjob VeganFunder

(clap clap)

[pcfunder]

praise Veganfunder. There's a great vegan restaurant on west 48th street that I can show you. I hear the same exact sentences from different ISO's all day long. It's almost as if their manager teaches them to refuse a decline and to instead instantly call the funder with any and all excuses you can come up with. This is also an unregulated industry with literally zero requirements to get involved. I'm 99.9999999% sure that a lot of people don't do this job to help business owners or even to make good money and instead do this for the thrill of scamming people. I have a lot of great ISO's but it takes a lot of time and energy to find those ISO's and then to chase after them until they finally give me a chance and realize I'm real/honest/legit.

[Ktolbert85]

As a relationship manager I deal with this on the daily. I think two major points were left out. Sometime I will look at submission like did you even look at this file before sending it out. For example, I received a sub where the merchant literally had zero revenue 2 out of the 3 months they submitted. The second would be stop wasting my time, my underwriters time, and most importantly YOUR time by not learning our box. Pay attention to your declines. Last, I understand some funders don't need to know balances to put out an offer, but a lot do. Why submit a file with 5 positions requesting a consolidation or reverse consolidation and not provide balances. SMH!

[harvey]

This was by far the best thing I have ever read on this forum. Being in this space and learning about it since 2009, this by far sums up a lot of what I have seen as part of a funding company and dealing with some ISOs.

You can take credit for being my first post since I never want to write on here. Goodjob VeganFunder

(clap clap)

but u joined in june 2019????

[JTS-MCA]

Yes, didnt need a username until Q4 of 2018.

[Fetachini]

Great Post Vegan!

here's my favorite one
"don't you see that he makes 200k in deposits!" --- "yes I do but only 40k of it is real revenue"

[Michael I]

wow even as an iso i have to agree to this lol . good job on rant

[pcfunder]

Great Post Vegan!

here's my favorite one
"don't you see that he makes 200k in deposits!" --- "yes I do but only 40k of it is real revenue"

sooo what your saying is you can't fund this deal....? Is there any way you can just push this through? Merchant is a payer.

[WestCoastFunding]

“Im not a broker — im a SUPERBROKER! You need me!!!!I don’t care if I only funded 1 deal with you for $15,000 in past 6 month! Without me you’re nothing!! You hear me: you’re NOTHING!!”

[Michael I]

sooo what your saying is you can't fund this deal....? Is there any way you can just push this through? Merchant is a payer.

damn it . i dont think i can ever use the merchant is a payer line again now

[pcfunder]

damn it . i dont think i can ever use the merchant is a payer line again now

It doesn't really make sense to call someone a payer. Everyone is a perfect payer until they default 40% in or put a stop payment after their 3rd renewal. If they weren't a payer, we wouldn't even be talking about the deal in the first place. We would just decline lol.

[NoBigDeal]

Happy beginning of the month everyone!!

The ISO community seems to have a monopoly on complaints about funders. It's about time we have some complaining from the Funder's side of things.
It’s almost getting to the point that this forum should be called "Daily ISO" (whomp) -- the only time direct funders tend to post anything is either to defend or promote themselves (Here's looking at you Marcus!)

Do I love the majority of our ISO’s? Sure...most of the time...But there is this subset group in the ISO community that seem to be missing a few key points.

Why am I posting this now instead of funding? Because my brain is fried, July was exhausting and I need a 10 minute break.

Let the pet peeve rant begin

1. Arguing against a legitimate ill

I get it, you've been counting your commission from the time the merchant asked for a contract. But the most we looked at in order to give this guy a contract (Less than 50k) is a quick internet search, credit and a few bank statements.

• The fact that he's a child molester didn't show up until after we pulled background.
  
• The default from 8 months ago didn't show up on his credit or the courts for some reason
  
• He just took funding Yesterday

"But he's a payer!!"
The fact that he's been paying [Fill in the blank] Funding for 2 weeks doesn't make him a payer!


"Why didn't we pull background before sending out the contract??" You ask as you start to swear you'll never do business with us again

A full background report is $20 (10 for personal, 10 for business)-- the number of times I get a signed contract back and the merchant just got funded 2 days ago (thanks for checking by the way!) We send out 20-50 contracts per day! That's about $12,000 per month in unnecessary costs.

Yes, if 80-90% of the contracts you request come back signed maybe we'd do it ahead of time for you.
Hell, even if you only send back 5% of the contracts you request BUT your portfolio's performance with us is through the roof because you have that gift of clairvoyance when it comes to merchant's we may even change our minds!! BUT, chances are, if you're that good you already know that and kind of have us by the balls anyway.


2. Why is your refi offer so low, HE CAN HANDLE IT!

First of all, thank you for stacking us. Of course, the merchant asked you for more money and it was a full month later so I guess it could be worse.

We get it, gotta keep your merchant's happy.

But just because he's been handling our (and everyone else’s) daily/weekly payment flawlessly doesn't mean we should double it! No bounced payments generally means we priced it correctly! The goal isn't to push the daily to the point where a merchant is struggling to handle the advance. Yes, he asked for more money, which also happens to equal more commission, did you explain to him the cost and extra burden?

Did you explain that when it comes to borrowing money less is more?
Maybe have him wait 2 more weeks so he nets more on the Refi?
For some reason when I explain this to a merchant they seem to get it, almost every time.
The goal is to keep your clients for YEAR's, not MONTHS


You're clients aren't stupid (if you think they are that might be the problem right there). We're all susceptible to sale tactics and merchant's are no different -- I've seen your Gucci and Ferregamo shoes that you justified because some Youtube personality or salesman told you they were "Worth it due to their superior quality."
Sometimes we just believe what we want to in order to get what we think we want
(FYI-- they're 40% over-market in terms of quality. They're not garbage, but they're not a gold standard either)

3. We made a mistake, sorry. We'll make it up to you
We're not funding $50Mil a month
Some of us smaller funding shops are funding $5M, others $12M some names we all love are in the $2M per month range. Our money is expensive, we feel a default and our teams are not staffed with robots.


We make mistakes
We're human

sorry, we missed that the merchant lowered payments on Last Chance the LAST day of the month of the most recent statement
Sorry we missed a recent funding in the Month-to-Date you sent us (which was 35 individual screen shots from the merchant's mobile app)

We f'd up, but we're not going to risk 50k,30k or even 10 thousand dollars of our money just because we made 1 mistake out of the 100 offers we sent out to you this month.

We respect the effort you put into closing deals, ask us for 1-2 points on the next deal to make it up

4. Hey did you see my email
Yes

And your text, and the 10 phone calls and then the text about the phone call about the email.
Maybe wait 10 minutes? Maybe we’re on the phone with the someone else?? It might even be your merchant who’s contract you’re calling us about.
Jeez

4. Merchant needs 100k to close
He does $15k per month. Stop it

Nothing you have to say about this file means anything anymore.

Now, it’s one thing if you are asking for an amount that is slightly above what we would offer.
“Merchant needs $75K” and does $100k per month.

Ok, now I get why you wrote something—might be above what we would have given this file, but I’ll give it a second glance.
But when you write a request that demonstrates either utter incompetence for pricing or immeasurable laziness, our offer is basically take it or leave it.

And One of the Worst ones

6. I’m not like the other scummy ISO’s you might work with
First of all, why would you even say this in your first week working with us?

The lady doth protest too much

We try very hard to not deal with “scummy” ISO’s—maybe uneducated, but rarely scummy.
What Funder would willingly work with a crooked broker?
Yes, there are some shrewd and pushy salesman – most salesman are (it’s not the most effective way, but whatever).

If you said to me “I care about my merchant’s and I care about your money” and demonstrated that... MAYBE I’d believe it wasn’t you who told the merchant they would get a term loan in two weeks.


Ok I’m done. Back to work

Well done. Long post, but worth the read

[NoBigDeal]

#4 is my favorite btw

[NoBigDeal]

It doesn't really make sense to call someone a payer. Everyone is a perfect payer until they default 40% in or put a stop payment after their 3rd renewal. If they weren't a payer, we wouldn't even be talking about the deal in the first place. We would just decline lol.

I remember a merchant i funded 4 times back in 2014. Funded him initially as a 4th, and from the renewal on took on 2 other advances and juggled paying 6 different funders for a whole year and a half. my deal was always 3 months, he was the ONLY merchant i was able to say was a "perfect payer"...until he went bust

[SmartAdvanced]

Hey, do you guys fund defaults??

[Nunya]

Well said.

[Don Dolla]

your just lacking b12 stfu